I am a rock
by Water elemental
Summary: Songfic about Asuka.


Disclaimer: I own no rights no Eva, Gainex does. Also I am a rock is property of Simon and Garfunkle.  
  
It was snowing in Tokyo-3. Asuka Langley Sohryu was lying in her bed, watching   
the snow fall through her window. Just another boring day. It was very unlikely   
that she would find anything to do. Hikari was out of town, Misato was out on   
another drinking spree, and Shinji was hanging out with the other stooges.   
  
A winter's day,   
In a deep and dark December,   
  
I am alone.   
  
Gazing from my window,   
  
to the streets below,   
  
On freshly fallen silent shrouded snow.   
  
I am a rock,   
  
I am an island.   
  
Asuka's mind wandered and she started thinking about how she had gotten to where   
she was in her life. No serious relationships, no one to open up to, not even a   
date now and then. Sure there were countless admirers, but there was no way she   
would let any perverted teenage boy come near her. 'Is that really the reason I   
won't accept any of those invitations?' she thought to herself. She wouldn't   
even get very close to the people she called her friends. It was like she had   
some kind of wall keeping her from enjoying her life. A wall that also pushed   
everyone away.   
  
I build walls.   
  
A fortress, deep and mighty,   
  
That none may penetrate.   
  
I have no need for friendship.   
  
Friendship causes pain.   
Its laughter, and its loving I disdain.   
  
I am a rock,   
  
I am an island.   
  
On the train of thought, she remembered the only person she had ever considered   
herself close to. 'Mamma.' When her mother was still alive and sane, she had   
been very close to her. She was the only person she could ever talk to and know   
wouldn't laugh at her, or say she was to little to know what she was talking   
about. She was the only one who ever showed she cared. Her Father was always   
cold to her. When her mother went insane, Asuka had just thought she was playing   
a game, and would stop soon. But when she started acting like that doll was   
me... and then the rope...  
  
  
Don't talk of love,   
  
Well I've heard the word before.   
  
It's sleeping in my memory.   
  
I won't disturb the slumber,   
  
Of feelings that have died,   
  
If I'd never loved I never would have cried.   
  
I am a rock,   
  
I am an Island.   
  
'NO!' she shouted inwardly. She wasn't weak. She wouldn't cry again. She didn't   
need love. As long as her Eva was around she had a purpose... but wasn't that   
just something to hide behind? An escape from everything else? 'Yes. But there   
is nothing else I can do. No one cares about me. Even mama betrayed me. Without   
Eva, I have no purpose. But I have to accept it. I've already promised myself   
not to cry…'  
  
I have my books,   
  
And my poetry to protect me.   
  
I am shielded in my armor.   
  
Hiding in my room,   
  
Safe within my womb,   
  
I touch no one and no one touches me.   
  
I am a rock,   
  
I am an island.   
  
And a rock feels no pain.   
  
And an island never cries.   
  
As Asuka gets up to leave, a close observer could see a small tear drop running   
down her face before it was wiped away.  
  
AN: First attempt at a song fic. Sorry it took so long to get the revised   
version out (it's still not done but I have to finish work on my other fic or my   
pre-readers will kill me). I fixed a few grammar errors (THANKS CRIMSON!) that I   
would have never found on my own. I also fixed the errors in the song (Thanks   
[NPH]! Couldn't find a decent lyrics site.)  
and fleshed it out a bit from the original. Double spaced the song so it will be   
easier to read, and expanded a little on how the last verse fits. Hope you like   
it. Now to get to work on my other fic…  
To the guy that put his name as 'I hate Asuka!!!!': Please don't leave reviews   
like that. I have a certain amount of respect for all the characters in Eva so I   
really don't appreciate anyone bashing them. I said in the description it's a   
song fic about Asuka so if you don't like Asuka you should have avoided it. 


End file.
